Writing

JALAPEÑOS JEOPARDY-RANDOM RAMBLINGS #15

This is a story and at the same time, it’s not a story. But before I begin this article, let me first wish all the Muslims around the world a blessed Eid Al-Adha!

A few days back, I was asked to come join in the festivities by my friend Amina and her mum, who I like to call my second mother. I didn’t need to think twice and so I packed my bags and off I went with Amina to Kaduna state. On arrival, the warm welcome I received made me extremely happy. At this point I would like to mention that this is the second time I’m coming to Kaduna and the last time, I was also invited. It felt really good to be accepted as a member of their family even though I was not Yoruba and I couldn’t speak the language.

Anyway, I happily awaited the D-day where I would eat ram meat to my satisfaction and it did come. Of course, for food to be ready, we all had to take part in the preparation and boy, was I willing to help! I changed into work clothes and I was ready to be used because, I must eat food and meat. Amina’s mum got back from the market and she started allotting duties to us all. I was asked to cut the jalapeños for the fried rice and I eagerly accepted. I washed them, got a knife and sat down to do my work.

‘Wear gloves or use nylon bags to protect your hands,’ the voice in my head said.

‘Why?’ I countered, ‘It’s not my first time cutting peppers and I’ve never really had any problems in the past.’

The voice went silent after two more warnings, which I equally disregarded. This voice has stopped me from making many mistakes in the past and I should have known that whenever I disobeyed it, I always ended up with regrets.

I cut up all the jalapeños and handed them over to the people cooking and then, I was asked to do other minor chores like cutting meat, washing plates and stuff. At this point, I had almost forgotten about the peppers and I was just eager to eat. About forty-five minutes later, I started feeling a slight burning sensation in my hands but I didn’t pay it any attention because I thought it would disappear after a few minutes. Little did I know that I had just signed myself up for torture.

The burning increased and my hands felt like they were literally on fire. So I picked my phone and browsed for remedies.

Douse your hands in a bowl of hot water and soap.

Make a mixture of baking soda and water…

Place your hands in a bowl of yoghurt or cow milk.

These remedies popped up on the screen and I only had a few seconds to think. I didn’t have the time to boil water and I also didn’t want to imagine how my already burning hands would feel if I placed them in hot water. There was no yoghurt or milk available so I took the only possible option.

I asked for baking soda, mixed it with water and put my hands inside. The pain reduced after a while and I washed my hands with more cold water. Phew! I thought, the worst is over. Who knew Jalapeños could be this hot?

At this point, I’m certain the universe laughed at me because I definitely looked like a clown. The burning had reduced a great deal and again, I was almost forgetting I had come in contact with peppers at all, when all of a sudden, it came back. And this time, it was worse than before. I wanted to cut off my hands and stow them away somewhere, anything to not feel this excruciating pain. Amina suggested I try palm oil though she was doubtful it would have any effect as I didn’t use it immediately after cutting the peppers. So, I got palm oil, rubbed it all over my hands and waited. For thirty minutes, the pain refused to subside and I was just staring at my hands and praying to the heavens to help me.

After an hour, the pain subsided again but I didn’t trust this relief that might turn out to be temporary, just like the first time.

‘That burn might continue for five days,’ Amina said, adding to my misery and filling me with a sense of dread.

‘Don’t mind her, it won’t. Just apply more palm oil later tonight and it would fade before morning,’ my second mum said, trying to comfort me. But I was already terrified. If I had to go through this burn one more time, I was sure I would cut off my hands myself.

Fast forward to the present, I don’t feel any pain and I hope it won’t come back. One thing I’m certain of is, I’m never touching jalapeños again, and if I must, I’m not doing it without gloves. In fact, I’m not touching any kind of pepper without protection again. And moving forward, I will listen to my inner voice because no good ever comes from going against it.

I don’t know what you’ll make of this story but it has some sort of significance to our everyday lives. Often times, we get warnings when something is bad for us, yet we ignore them. We know this thing would only be harmful in the long run, and yet we forge ahead, and it only ends up badly. If only we could take a moment to really listen to our inner voices before making decisions, we wouldn’t have to go through so many tribulations. Just take a step back, listen and never shove those warnings aside.

I still haven’t forgiven Amina, because she saw me cutting those peppers with my bare hands and didn’t warn me(inserts numerous crying emojis).

P.s: I still ate food and meat to my fill though, in case you were wondering. Also, if you want to know what jalapeños can be used for, just click here.

Please leave a comment and don’t forget to share. Eid Mubarak!

20 Comments

  • Benedict Odi

    Lmao 😂.. This is funny and not funny at thesame time. Palm oil always coming to rescue in our time of adversity. (Such an underrated condiment to have around).

    Thanks for sharing. I’ve learnt a lesson aswell.

  • JB Favour

    Lmao. How was it possible that I could literally see each scene play out? 😭😭
    The peppers must’ve thought to themselves, “we’ll burn for Cass” I absolutely enjoyed this rambling… And yep, I had no idea whatever Jalapenos was until I read this. 😂😂

  • Justin Ugwuanyi

    Lmao…🤣🤣🙊🙊 sorry about the incident. Literally, I had a similar experience 2 days ago after receiving raw cow meat in view of the Sallah celebrations and thought I should make myself tomato stew. Mine was with Tatashi, don’t know if it’s same with Jalapeños 😂

  • Guess who? 😋

    Ok I’m howling here cos omo 🤣🤣🤣

    Anyways, your hands were burning for Jesus. That was a small price to pay for the enjoyment you had alone yesterday 🙄

    PS: I’ve been home what, 2 minutes and my mind is already going places cos you don’t want to imagine what came to my mind when I read this line:
    “In fact, I’m not touching any kind of pepper without protection again.” Fix my mind Jesus! Fix it Lord 🤣🤣🤣

  • Victor

    Wow! I enjoyed the story… And thanks for teaching a beautiful lesson from the experience… But you tried sha, with all the pains you still didn’t miss eating the meat… 😀😀😀… That’s the part I liked most.😅🤣😅

  • lightman

    Chaiiii ndoooo Biko…for your experience, I can imagin your face in all these, I know you will sure still be laughing about it behind the pain…😂 Always listen to that voice ok.

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